Friday, December 28, 2012

List of My Favourite Memories in 2012 :]

Hello fellow readers! Just want to say this has been a really wonderful year. And in a few more days, this year would come to an end and we'll be entering a new year. Hello, 2013! :] I remember saying to myself last year, on the night of New Year's eve that I love 2011 'cause it's great but I'm going to make 2012 even more wonderful. Guess what? It became true. So many things have happened this year. I'm having a mixed feelings to leave this year. Ahhh! But anyway, God is good you know.. You'll never know what's ahead of you. Isn't it pleasant to know that the best thing in your life hasn't happened yet? Yeah, I'm looking forward to that! Yeeeeeaaaah!!! Jeezzz.. When did time flies so fast? I feel like the first day of school for my senior year is still fresh on my mind.. I really feel like it was just yesterday! Anyway, I'm gonna list out my favourite memories from this year. Ready? Here we go!

  • I got chosen by Mrs. Elly Darliza to be the president of English Club in our school. That was unexpected!
  • Participated in a Public Speaking competition in our school and won 2nd place!
  • Participated in a fashion show where you design your clothes using waste materials during "❤ The Environment Month". I won 2nd place.
I looked ridiculous
  • Our class participated for Bahasa Malaysia choir competition and we won 1st place!!!
  • Finally getting to know each of my classmates personally. Like really close! Especially Ah Ming! :)
  • Auditioned to perform for our school charity concert but didn't make it. But I was told that I sing good. Mehh.. It was a fun experience anyway.
  • Fall in love with a guy and finally got a boyfriend for the first time.
  • I learned that a relationship without commitment really does mean nothing and God told me to end the relationship. It lasted for less than two months. I didn't regret listening to God. I will never be in a relationship ever again if that guy is not send by God to me.
  • Finally glad that I'm single and realised that having a meaningless relationship is not worth it.
  • God gave my dad a second chance to live after his leg got amputated. We almost lost him but God healed him in a miraculous way. (Check out my last posts)
  • Got my tooth pulled out and since then, I promise to myself not to let myself go to the dentist again. Last time I went to the dentist I think I was nine years old. I forgot how painful it is to pull out a tooth. So kids, take good care of your teeth. I mean it!
  • Found out a hidden talent of mine.. Drawing realistic portraits! (I made money from this)
Some of my portrait drawings

  • Ryan Higa the famous youtuber, singer Colbie Caillat, Kevjumba the famous youtuber/vlogger and Tiffany Alvord a well known youtube singer... 

..these four noticed the portraits of them that I drew via Twitter. 

Guess what? THEY LOVE IT! :D

I was in a conversation with @elainehiganinja and Ryan saw the tweet with his portrait

  • Smosh is one of my favourite youtubers. Well, two actually.. Smosh is two people. Anthony Padilla & Ian Hecox. :) They are funny! Check 'em out!
Left: Anthony Padilla, Right: Ian Hecox
Anyway, what I wanted to say about Smosh was....

This is on my second account. @TheRealSusanRay. My first account is @Sansan_Ray.
  • Getting interactions in Twitter from the people that I admire such as..

D-Trix : youtuber & a contestant of "So You Think You Can Dance"

Lauren Froderman. Winner of "So You Think You Can Dance Season 7" and also girlfriend of D-Trix.


KassemG : youtuber and one of the judges in Internet Icon along with Ryan Higa & Christine Lakin

random tweet.. LOL!

  • Finally got that little voice out of my head that says I'm not worthy to give my youth sharing to the people in church. I realised that because of God's grace, I am worthy in God's eyes!
  • Understanding the concept of "live for God" and "live in God". 
  • Learning the importance of forgiveness and putting away my ego when I was arguing with my friend, May.
  • Improving in my weakest subject a lot trough tuition which is Mathematics. From D to B! Impressive huh?
  • Getting trough my biggest exam of my school life. Our national exam -- SPM!
  • Sending my artworks for the school magazine.
  • Got chosen for National Service Programme that starts on the 4th of January 2013. It's for three months. Bye guys! (I hate the fact that I got chosen)

Tuesday, December 25, 2012

My Dad's Miraculous Divine Healing (Part 3)

Going to the surgery room

The doctors finally got my Dad's condition to be stable and they can finally proceed with the surgery. The doctors said that he will be having 50% chance of not waking up after the surgery and if he did wake up, he would be admitted to the Intensive Care Unit (ICU) 'cause the effect from the surgery will be really strong and his weak body may not stand it. They said it's something like "body trauma". I don't know..
However, Hallelujah! The surgery went well and he didn't get admitted to the ICU. Everything was fine with him! How did that happen? Only one explanation. God. 

Dad is getting so much better now. Long-story-short, Dad was allowed to go home only after TWO weeks at the hospital! That's weird. He almost died and he can leave after TWO weeks ONLY!? God is good. Hallelujah! Praise God! He's on a wheelchair now but he is happier than he used to be! He eats so much now. Sometimes, two plates of rice are not enough! He even said, "I forgot how delicious food is." And by that he means since the last TWO years. He might be skinny but he is gaining a few kilograms I think. I really really want to thank God for everything. He is amazing! At some point I questioned the situation, "God, why must this happens to us?" But now I see that God is able to help those who cry out to Him. I believe each of you who prayed for him and our strength in the family has been heard by God. I pray that God will bless you for your kindness and concern. It's the only thing I can do to return the favour.

We had a small feast and invited close relatives to thank God the night Dad got home

I love God so much. He has been really good to me. To us! And believe it or not, He is good to you too! But if you're struggling with something now, just hold on to your faith in Him and keep on praying and ask for His guidance and His strength to endure. Don't give up and don't blame Him for everything. I promise you, if you do these things, you WILL see how good God is!

Sunday, December 23, 2012

My Dad's Miraculous Divine Healing (Part 2)

It was around 12 am when Jonathan and Nora got home. My Mum was at the hospital with my Dad. Cory and I quickly got ready to go there immediately at the emergency room in Hospital Queen Elizabeth. We were waiting outside the emergency room and we arrived probably around 1 am. The doctor said my Dad was in a really critical condition and he also said that his blood pressure and his sugar level was really low. That was why he was shivering. He was hypo. A short term for hypoglycemia. Hypoglycemia is an abnormally diminished content of glucose in the blood. (Our family always have this problem) The doctor told us that his heart was infected by the germs and bacteria and his heart was really weak and it could stop beating any moment. I felt like it was the darkest day of my life. I couldn't bear to think that the doctor would walk out from the emergency room any moment and say, "I'm sorry but we lost him." Mum cried. I cried. I couldn't understand how Nora, Jonathan and Cory was really strong because I felt like I was really devastated. How did God gave them so much strength? I couldn't comprehend.. Maybe because I was pulling myself away from God that time. So together as a family, we prayed outside the emergency room and pray as hard as we could. We didn't even care about people looking at us. I remember praying, "God please don't take him. Please you have done so many miracles in so many lives, please let it happen in our family," and many more but I don't remember. I know I shouldn't pray that way because if God really wants to take my Dad it's His plan. I guess I was too selfish. I couldn't bear to lose him.

Oh before that, the doctor asked if we agree on cutting his leg because they said they need to get rid of the source of the infection. I was really shocked. But it's the only way for him to survive but it wasn't necessarily going to succeed but it's the best way to do. All of us agree except...... my Dad. 
My Dad on the night he got admitted at the emergency room with Mum and Jonathan
Four doctors came to him to tell him that it's the best way to save his life but he still didn't want to. After a long talk with everyone, he said he will decide in the morning. So after a few hours, we went home and left Mum and Cory at the hospital to take care of my Dad. We got home around 4 am and I fell asleep at 5 am. We woke up at 6.30 am and went to the hospital again. You can tell that I didn't get much sleep. So finally, my Dad agreed on the surgery to cut his leg. The doctors will proceed with the surgery after the doctors get him to be in a stable condition.

My Dad's Miraculous Divine Healing (Part 1)

This started months ago. Probably it was on October. The reason I didn't post it here was because I was in a really fragile condition and I wasn't strong enough. I don't even feel like laughing or even smile. It was like my life was falling apart. You know, I kinda feel depressed. You know when you say, "Oh, I'm so depressed. My mum wouldn't let me do this and that.." or etc.. That's not depressed. That's just frustrated or sad. Depressed is when you don't feel like talking, eating, doing anything and just wanna crawl in your bed and sleep.. all day long. That was me.

Anyway, my Dad is diabetic. His left feet was swollen and the doctor said he has gotten an infection from the wound on his leg. The infection was really bad and it had spread in his body. Here's a picture of his feet. 

That's bad isn't it? My sister took this in the emergency room.

How did he got in the emergency room? It all started this one night. 
My dad's health condition was getting worse day by day. He had been using all those health products every single day that was given by a friend of my Dad because his friend said it cured him from the same problem as my Dad. However, my Dad didn't get any better. In fact, he was getting really worse. REALLY REALLY WORSE. My Dad's enzyme in his stomach had been disturbed by the bacteria from the infection and that made him lost his appetite. According to him, he said all the food tastes like tissues. Everytime he ate something, he vomits. My Dad had gotten really skinny and pale. He had no energy to wake up or even sit. Imagine me as his daughter looking at his condition like that. How would you feel if you're me? So this one night, I was on Twitter and suddenly, my Dad shivered really really bad. I was basically sweating because it's hot and I didn't understand what happened to my Dad. I was worried. But my Mum was a lot more worried. She put a jacket on him and two blankets. He was still shivering. Like..really bad. Mum told me to straight away go to the room and take the hair dryer to warm him up. I quickly do as she said. Still shivering, I don't know what to do and pray. I prayed really hard and I asked everyone on Twitter to pray for my Dad. I really appreciate each of them. I just want to thank all of them. But it didn't get any better. Mum was beside him and she gave him warm water and suddenly, "ESSOOOON!" (Eson is my brother's nickname, Jonathan) My Mum called out to my brother she was tearing up grabbing my Dad's head. I quickly turned to him and jumped from the couch. So does Nora, my sister. My Dad's eyes rolled up and fainted on the couch. We were panicked. I called my sister, Cory upstairs to quickly go downstairs. My Dad was concious a few seconds but his mind was somewhere else. We talked to him and he just looked at us blankly and didn't say a word. So Jonathan, Nora and Mum send him to the hospital immediately. It was around 10 pm I think.. Cory and I were left in the house. I felt like falling apart and I wasn't strong enough so I cried and I cried and I cried. All I could say to God was, "Lord, please don't take my Dad." Honestly, I was not ready to lose my Dad. 

Sunday, September 02, 2012

A Letter to "Future Me"

I used to wrote this letter months ago in my diary and suddenly I remember about this and read it again. It almost brought me to tears. So, here goes.

Written on January 30th, 2012 - Monday

Dear "future me",
          Please remember that when you have a boyfriend, don't you ever forget Yeshua. Don't be naive and although it hurts sometimes, listen to others when they tell you that something's not right. If you're reading this still single, stop asking yourself why on earth that you're still single for the past years -not sure how many years since I'm not sure how old are you now You still remember the book you used to read? "I Kissed Dating Goodbye"? Ring a bell? I'm sure you still remember. I remember something from the book that says, "some people says, 'I can't wait' but others may say, 'I wish I'd waited longer'. And "hustle while you wait". Remember "Future Me", whether you are single or not, remember at this very moment since the past fe weeks, God has been good to you and you were madly in love with Him. Don't ever trade this joyful love to some guy you fell for. God is my and your very true love. When God finally gave you the man of your dreams, make sure that God is in your relationships. Don't do something that you'll regret later. It's weird but I gotta say this, I LOVE YOU! You're pretty and we both know it.


Tuesday, August 21, 2012

Herbie Fully Loaded - He exists !

This picture was taken just this afternoon when I was at my aunt's house celebrating Eid Mubarak with them. I was enjoying my food and then two Volkswagen came to the house. Apparently one of the cars caught my attention! You know the movie Herbie Fully Loaded ? This car looks EXACTLY like the one in the movie!! If only Lindsay Lohan walked out of the car, it would be the coolest thing ever. Hahaha! You know, I kind of thought that the car would actually be alive.. you know, like in the movie. But anyway, back to reality! All of us know that a car have no soul and it's just a car. That's it. 

Wednesday, July 18, 2012

Colbie Caillat Tweeted Me! :D


Motivational Talk at School Today

Basically, what I realized the most from the talk just now is that not everyone can achieve their dreams. Okay, let me repeat.. NOT EVERYONE CAN ACHIEVE THEIR DREAMS. And then, BOOM. Reality hits me so bad. I was truly crushed. Like, really really crushed. I feel like crying just when the speaker said it only a few seconds after the talk began. I have a big dream, you know. A really BIG dream. My dream is to further my studies in The One Academy (TOA). Okay, so maybe you don't know what on earth is TOA, so let me explain and introduce it to you a little bit about it...

The One Academy, Malaysia (formally known as The One Academy of Communication Design) is a Malaysian arts and design academy. Located in Bandar Sunway in the state of Selangor. There is also one which is located in Jalan Anson, Penang. But the headquarter is the one in Selangor, though. (I still haven't decide which one I wanted to go yet.. ) I'm thinking of taking Diploma Programme with a course of Illustration with Comics. The image below is the requirements needed.
Career opportunities on the image below

So you want to know what a big deal is this to me? --There are actually some famous people you may know who have graduated from this college!

  • Olivier de Rotailer - Managing Director of UBISOFT, World's Top Game Developer
  • Doug Chiang - Master of Creative Film Production Design of Star Wars I & II and OSCAR Award Winner
  • Eric Leong - Renowned Celebrity Interior Designer and Ambassador of ICI Dulux Paints. (He has his own show on Astro Ria, "Deko Bersama Eric"
  • Carlos Baena - Professional Animator at Pixar Animation Studios
  • Shawn Kelly - Lead Animator of Star Wars I & II / Transformers I,II,III
  • Kyle Balda - International Animation Director (Pixar and ILM)
  • Javier Secaduras - Hollywood Film Storyboarding Expert (Blue Sky Studios)
  • Ray Kosarin - Animator, Director, Producer and Talent Recruiter (Lucasfilm)
  • and so many more...
Now you know what a big of a deal is it to me to be in this academy? My name can actually be well-known worldwide like those people from the list above!
How do you think I felt when the speaker from the motivational talk said this when I have this really really BIG dream...?
"Not everyone in this world can achieve their dreams. I'm sorry but that's the reality."
I was crushed and then I began to doubt myself. Questions like "Am I good enough?" or "Do I have what it takes?" came running through my mind. I wanted to cry so bad.

But when I listened to the talk, I realized that to achieve my dreams, I have to work as hard as I can. And when I do succeed, I should never ever ever ever forget my parents' support, help, kindness and most of all, LOVE. I shall never leave my parents behind when I succeed. And of course, always give thanks to God. I remember when I realized that TOA is a private college and I was worried that it may need a lot of money for my entry in a private college. But my Dad answered, "Don't worry lah. We'll find the money. Just trust God. He will give it." That moment I was really overwhelmed that my father actually willing to do anything for me so  that I can achieve my dreams. Goodness, this is really emotional for me. But, yeah.. I think I should apply for a scholarship. Maybe I'll apply for the Honda scholarships.

I have to work as hard as I can for the best result in my SPM! It's a fierce competition to get an entry in TOA. I hope all of you out there who have this big dream to keep dreaming! Believe! And make it happen! Don't forget to pray along the way. God bless!

Thursday, May 24, 2012

God's Blessing

Last April, for the month of "Environment Friendly" on our school, I joined the fashion show competition. I know, I know... This is sooo not me. However, I was interested when Teacher Elly said that we must design an outfit using waste materials only. Hey! I can design using newspapers! I mean, I had watched an episode of "Project Runway" where they designed outfits using newspapers. I know a thing or two about fashion and yeah, about designing. So glad to know that I don't have to sew clothes or anything because I'm terrible of sewing. Even when I'm using the sewing machine! All I have to use are a stapler and a duct tape to put on the materials together. 

Me and Alfera

This is the ONLY photo I got tagged in Facebook. Mehh.. I could have look better in this shot. Probably not my most flattering picture. I regret not having my own camera. Something wrong with my sister's camera so I didn't brought it. My dad's however though is fine but my dad will never let me bring his DSLR camera. Anyway, blah blah blah.. I won 2nd place! YEE-HA ! Got RM20 for my winning prize! God is so GOOD! I'm so glad I joined the fashion show competition. Not only my designing talent was shown but I can't stop getting compliments from everyone about how pretty I was that day. Everyone, including the teachers said that I should be a model someday. It was so flattering! My goodness! I may not want to be a model because it's not my passion but when you get compliments like that, wouldn't you be flattered as well? Couldn't forget Teacher Elly's words.. "You got the height and the looks." Hmm, I guess being skinny is good? I have been made fun of because of my skinny body for my entire life. Getting such compliment really had boosted up my confidence for being happy with myself ever since. 

Saturday, May 19, 2012

The Most Amazing Woman in My Life

Mum and I :)

This photo above was taken by my brother, Odon (Maxwell) when we celebrated Mother's Day at church. I know it's too late for me to post this but I just had to show my appreciation to my mother. 
My mother, Mary had been such incredible mother to me in the past 17 years of my life. She had been really patient to raise six crazy kids in her life. I love her. I don't know why I do, but I do. I truly love her with the bottom of my heart. I wouldn't trade her for ANYTHING or ANYONE in the world. What I can only say here is, I am thankful to God who gave me a beautiful, wonderful and amazing mother. At times, I might hurt her feelings and I regret to have done all those things. Blessed Mother's Day, Mak! I love you. 

Wednesday, May 09, 2012

Today Is My Birthday !

Well, I'm officially seventeen today. Am I excited? Hmm, not really. When I was a kid, I used to be excited when my birthday was coming. I even counted the days when it was still like three months away and when it was only a day away, I would be like, "Yipee! One more day, then it will be my birthday!" But now, it's like, "Oh no.. One more day and I'm gonna be old."
I know why I fear of getting old. Because I'm the baby in the family for all these while, I'm afraid to carry out any responsibilities and taking good care of myself now-on my own. I know I'm gonna have to leave this house sooner or later. Honestly, I'm not ready to grow up. I'm not ready to face the world on my own. I still need my parents. I still want to be a student for a long time. I don't want it to end this year! My seventeenth birthday reminds me all the time about my final year in school. There, I said it. Again. FINAL YEAR.
Anyway, nothing special today. I honestly woke up this morning feeling like it's just one of those normal days. I'm serious! Nothing special at all.
I don't even feel well today. Kept having nausea and stomach ache. But I felt better now.
Everyone kept saying, "Kenapa birthday girl muka begini ni?" - (Why is a birthday girl makes that face?)

Is it normal to have this feeling? Is it normal to feel sad when you know you're old?
Of course I feel grateful to God that I'm still alive today. It's just that ... time flies really fast. Sigh.

Anyway, I registered on a local tuition centre just now. I'm taking Maths and Science. I'm quite slow in these two subjects. Hmm..

Saturday, April 07, 2012

What's On Your Mind?

I was checking my Facebook and then it hits me when I saw "What's on your mind?" on the status box. I realized that what has been on my mind the whole day is that today, 2,000 years ago, people mourned for Jesus Christ's death. It was the day when Satan thought he had won by crucifying the Messiah on the cross. Christ's followers had lost all hopes. These things had been on my mind all day long. It was like I actually felt those feelings that they had. All their hope that Jesus would reign and be their King has gone. Just like that. They were mourning and weeping and grieving.

And these verses had been on my mind too!

John 16:20-22 New International Version (NIV)

20 Very truly I tell you, you will weep and mourn while the world rejoices. You will grieve, but your grief will turn to joy. 
21 A woman giving birth to a child has pain because her time has come; but when her baby is born she forgets the anguish because of her joy that a child is born into the world. 
22 So with you: Now is your time of grief, but I will see you again and you will rejoice, and no one will take away your joy.

We might be grieving and weeping for His excruciating death - the CRUCIFIXION. However, through His death , we are REDEEMED ! He gave us the greatest gift of all! Hallelujah! Rejoice everyone! 

Remember, He did that because of love. Because of LOVE. For you.

Tomorrow would be the day where He rose from the dead.

Matthew 28:1-6 New International Version (NIV)

Jesus Has Risen

 1 After the Sabbath, at dawn on the first day of the week, Mary Magdalene and the other Mary went to look at the tomb.
 2 There was a violent earthquake, for an angel of the Lord came down from heaven and, going to the tomb, rolled back the stone and sat on it. 3 His appearance was like lightning, and his clothes were white as snow. 4 The guards were so afraid of him that they shook and became like dead men.

 5 The angel said to the women, “Do not be afraid, for I know that you are looking for Jesus, who was crucified. 6 He is not here; he has risen, just as he said. Come and see the place where he lay.

Friday, April 06, 2012

Blessed Good Friday Everyone

Isaiah 53:4
  Surely he took up our pain 
   and bore our suffering, 
yet we considered him punished by God, 
   stricken by him, and afflicted.
John 3:16
 For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.

Wednesday, March 14, 2012

Sketching Again.

Yesterday, I've got a huge offer. A really huge offer. 
My friend, Ernie, said her aunt asked me to sketch her wedding photo and that she would pay RM50. I'm still not sure if I want to take it. I mean, this is HUGE ! A wedding photo and with extra large size! But.. it's RM50! You think I can do it? 

Anyway, I've done another sketch of one of my friends, Marla.. Take a look !

she's beautiful, isn't she?

You want to know what keeps me going when I'm tired to continue sketching?

It's the fascination of my cat. Don't believe?

This cat always around when I'm in front of the laptop..

This cat is so weird.. I wonder what is so interesting with my laptop?


God touched my heart just now. I was scrolling down my Facebook home page and I saw this,
It's like, I don't know.. It was like these words goes straight to my heart and almost brought me to tears. It's not like I'm not used with these kind of words. But there's something different when I saw this.
God works in a mysterious way. Hallelujah !

Sunday, March 11, 2012

Sharpening My Skill

Hello everyone ! Do you miss me ? Sorry, I've been busy lately. It was my exam last week.
Well, it's my first semester holiday this entire week so it's the perfect time to sharpen my skill. What skill? Sketching and drawing! Well, first I didn't know that I have this great talent. It all started when I saw Allison Harvard from America's Next Top Model cycle 17. I was drawn by her looks. She looks like a doll. Ever since I saw her on TV, I felt this kind of sense that I need to draw her. It was like I was so drawn with her eyes. Just look !

Allison Harvard
I mean, of course she's an ordinary person like us too but there's something about her that makes me drawn to her. The same way when I saw Mount Kinabalu in my land, Sabah, Malaysia. 

It can be seen from various places in Kota Kinabalu including my village, Tuaran.

Mount Kinabalu from Pekan Nabalu

Beautiful, isn't it?
One day, I'm gonna sit in front of the Mount Kinabalu view and paint it.

And that's exactly how I felt when I saw Allison. It's something I cannot explain.

So, I sketched her,

I'm so proud of myself. Hahah !

Then, I sketched Taylor Swift,

Then, my friend, Joanne, dare me to sketch her.. So I did !


I didn't realize she is beautiful until I draw her.

Like, seriously.

So, I've got 11 more to sketch. They'll treat me when I finish their portrait ! Hahaha :D

Tuesday, February 28, 2012

Wait, what ?

Oh yeah, correction.. The closing ceremony for Language Month was not last Saturday. I'm sorry for giving you dear readers a wrong information. So yeah, the result for my public speaking, which I have waited so long, have not come out yet. Also the result for choir and choral speaking competition. I have been waiting for the results too but the closing ceremony of Language Month would be next week. I'm not sure what day. However, I heard that for choir in Bahasa Malaysia competition, our class, 5 UM, won. Huh? Seriously? We sang "Kau Ilhamku" and we won? Oh, okay.. Praise the Lord! 
So, speaking of Language Month.. Today was the English and Bahasa Malaysia drama competition. The emcee was supposed to be my friend, May but since she went home for something I'm not really sure of, Teacher Elly picked ME to be the emcee! "Susan, since May went home, you will be the emcee for today," Teacher Elly said.  I was like, "Wait, what?" Well, I can't argue since Teacher Elly had chosen me to be the president of English Language Club in my school. So, I have to take the responsibilities. When I think about it, this is really the first time I held a very important position in something. So I'm really grateful to God that at least, before leaving school, I learned something about leadership. Sigh. Final year. 
Anyway, I have no idea I have so many problems when talking in front of a huge crowd of people. Sheesh! I stammered in every sentence. But for me, it all went well. Ernie took part in the drama and played the role of an angry teacher. Hahah! She really managed to carry the role well. That's all. Gotta go eat dinner. Bye !

emcee ? XD

Wednesday, February 22, 2012

Language Month

For this Bulan Bahasa (Language Month) , I have participated in four competitions so far. 

1. Public speaking
2. Debate
3. Choir (with the whole class)
4. Choral Speaking (also with the whole class)

1. Actually, I did not planned on participating for debates. However, since my class, 5UM, did not have enough participant for debate just now, they told me to participate. It was a wreck! My goodness! I knew I shouldn't follow my heart! My heart told me to go along but my mind said the other way around. 
Anyway, it was a lot of fun. Although we didn't do that good.. We had a reaally good laugh! Joanne was more like doing a comedy on stage rather than having a debate. Oh, how I wish I have the pictures!

2. So when the debate has ended, Teacher Elly called Sarah, Shafarina and I about the public speaking. It turns out, we are chosen for the second public speaking - impromptu speech. We will be given four minutes to prepare our speech based on whatever topics we will be given. We will be doing it in the staff room, whenever Teacher Elly feels like to. That means, I have to prepare to be called every second.

3. So, about the choir. We had our optional competition last Monday. We sang "Leaving on A Jet Plane" and "Oh Carol". On the optional competition, all classes from Form 3 until Form 5 would compete with each other and the Top 5 would go to the finals, which is on the closing ceremony of Bulan Bahasa this Saturday on the 25th. The Top 5 was revealed on the next day - which was yesterday. To our surprise, we are on the Top 5! I literally laughed out loud when our class was mention. No, I am not kidding. 

4. Last but not least, the CHORAL SPEAKING ! Note that I put on all capital letters for the words choral speaking ? It's because I'm sooo excited for it! Yippieee! Do you know that today was the optional competition and on this very day, we had our FIRST practice? Plus, it went PERFECTLY well? Oh, how beautiful the team works we had today! Long-story-short, we are going to the final! YEAH!

Thursday, February 16, 2012

What is Beauty ?

Well, what is beauty actually? Is it to have eyes at a certain distance with each other? Is it to have a nose with a certain height? Is it to have smooth and silky skin? Is it to be in a certain height or a certain weight? Of course not! Beauty is much more than that! But these are the stereotype beauty that the world has invented. People throughout the entire world had already misunderstood the true definition of beauty.

It's so sad to think that people actually believe this. They thought beauty is all about the outside. But the truth is, it's not. Maybe you are even one of them who believe this. 

And how does it affect people that had misunderstood the perception of beauty? 
People, especially young girls often feel down about themselves when they feel that they could not achieve that kind of beauty. They will go crazy when having a bad hair day, or when having pimples breakout, or when they gain weight. Not only young girls but also men and women. Stereotype beauty forces them to do plastic surgery. Why do you think they did that? It's because they want to be beautiful, that's why. Not just beautiful but perfectly beautiful since they know that nobody is perfect. But remember, imperfection makes each of you here unique in your own way.

Of course there's nothing wrong with being beautiful and keeping ourselves attractive but if that's what controls our life, we will be left very empty inside - and even more so as the years take their toll on our body. For instance, if we fall in love with someone just because of their looks, how will we continue to love that person when that person grows old and doesn't look so attractive anymore? That is why, what matters most is what's within you.

If we are only loved for our physical beauty, we will never feel truly loved because that is not the real person. Let people admire you for your wonderful personality and your wonderful character and most of all, your beautiful heart. Just be yourself and just be happy with how God had made you because there is no cosmetic for beauty like happiness. God never makes a mistake. Therefore, you, you and you were not a mistake when God had made you.

Now that you know what beauty really means, remember this wherever you go - whether you are big or small, tall or short, fat or skinny - like me , you are beautiful no matter what! As Selena Gomez said in her song, "Who says you're not beautiful?" I'm sure all of you know that song, right? Well, maybe not all of you. I will be glad to sing that song for you ! If this is a singing competition, but it's not.. so never mind. The important thing is the message that Selena had given through that song. Also, when someone says you're ugly or criticise about how you look like, be fearless and say, "I am beautiful no matter what!"

You are now ready to conquer your beauty. But there's one more thing that's missing. That is, your smile. Because beauty may be your power, but a smile is always its sword. 

Thank you for lending your ears. Have a great day!

Of Valentine's and Public Speaking Competition

Okay, updates ! 
I'm sorry I didn't post something here on Valentine's Day since I saw that everyone seem to be posting about Valentine's Day.. I've been really busy. Besides, nothing really interesting happened to me that day. It's just that I miss my friends back at All Saints. sigh. Of course I love my friends here in St. John though, but when we hugged each other while wishing Happy Valentine's Day , I remember how I used to do that with my friends in All Saints.. We even gave each other something like a small card or chocolates. I miss them so much and it has been soo long .. But yeah, it doesn't mean that I don't love my friends here in St. John now.. Anyway, I was actually going to post here about what happened yesterday. Yesterday was my public speaking competition. I'm sorry , I should have told you earlier but I felt something wrong in me to tell everyone something before it happens. I did this before and when the day actually came, something ALWAYS goes wrong. Ugh. Oh yeah, back to my story.. Well, I did pretty good I guess. I stopped a few times during my speech to refer a bit on my speech paper. I know it's disappointing but everyone did that too.. Just saying. Well, everyone except one.. Shafarina. She was so good. Sigh. Although the result will come out on the closing ceremony of Bulan Bahasa (Language Month) - which is on the 25th of Feb, I heard that I actually won third place! But I'm not sure whether it's true or not. Shafarina told me that she heard it from one of the judges' son. Pn. Yeow's son. God, please let it be true. However, Pn. Yeow's son didn't tell her who got the first place. I think I know why. It's because SHE is actually the winner of public speaking competition. That's why she weren't told. How I wish I was as good as her! Or perhaps, better than her! URGH ! But, it's okay. Congrats to her by the way. Oh yeah, if you want to know what was my speech about, look at the next post. Thanks :D

Sunday, February 05, 2012

Do You Believe in Miracles ?

The three most shocking word I heard today in the church. "We've been robbed".
And I was like' "No way.."

After Br. Jalfin announced the duties for next week , he then said ,"Oh yeah , before I forgot , I want to tell all of you that something happened last Wednesday. This church had been entered by thieves." Of course , I was told by Hannah before that so I wasn't so shocked. But it was still shocking when I heard it from Hannah .. So , Br. Jalfin told us THREE of the padlocks were damaged , one was seriously bent . He got a phone call from the person downstairs and as he got there , the door was wide opened. But to my surprise, to EVERYONE surprise, not one thing form the church was taken. There are so many valuable things in the church. Electric guitar, LCD projector, bass guitar, microphones, floor fans, speakers, hard disc .. You name it.. But why ? Why didn't the thieves took anything ? This remain a mystery. The next door of our church was entered by thieves too. That place had so much worse damages .. They probably robbed that place too. I'm not sure how bad but according to Br. Jalfin, it looked worse than our church. I couldn't stop thinking about it.. Well, there is only one explanation. GOD. I have no idea what exactly happened but I believe God had protected the church. I began to imagine lots of stuff when the thieves entered our church.. What if the thieves saw angels in the church ? What if they saw GOD Himself ? Wouldn't it be so cool ? I know, I know... I'm going too far. But you have to admit it's possible, right ? Besides, my mother used to saw a very handsome young man coming out from my sister's car before.. which my sister doesn't even know what my mother was talking about. My sister, Nora, thought it was a ghost but that young man was really handsome said my mother. It couldn't be a ghost she said.. She believe it was an angel guarding her until Nora arrived home. My other sister, Cory, opened the gate for Nora so she can park the car in front of our house. I asked my sister,  Cory if she saw the man. She didn't. Only my mother saw that man. She said she always pray for my sister, Nora for her protection since she always came home late. It must be an angel ! No doubt about it ! God is AMAZING ! (FYI, my mum had no record of being hallucinating before.)

Even though the devils are messing with us, God's name will always be lifted up ! Thank God for whatever situation you're in - good or bad ! Hallelujah !

I don't care if you want to believe or not. The important thing is, I have done my job to share God's awesomeness to you ! God be with you :)

Tuesday, January 31, 2012

I'm in Loove !

Okay, first of all, Cory, I know you're gonna read this. Because of that, I'm just gonna blurt it out. I'm in love. And I know you're in love too. In fact, we're in love with the same PERSON ! LOL ! I'm in love with.. JESUS CHRIST :D Hahahhaha ...
Anyway, I'm not saying this just because I'm a Christian. I really mean it when I said I'm in love with Him. You know, like when you're in love, you're starting to think about that person like every second and thinking about him/her when you wake up or before you sleep. That's how I feel ... I feel that with God! So, you see.. I literally mean it. I'm not saying I love God just because I have to... since I'm a Christian.
For the past few weeks, God had been so good to me. I really can't explain it but, yeah.. He's so good. And He is still now. You know, when I know that I have sinned and started to feel unworthy to Him, somehow, I still felt that He loves me. I have never felt so good for a long time. Like, seriously.
Sometimes, before I fall asleep, I would think of God's great love for me in the midst of my sins and I almost feel like I'm going to burst in tears any moment. Also, His love gave me the longing to read His "love letters" -the Bible.
I have no idea what's happening in my life right now but I somehow think that someone, out there, have been praying for me. I don't know. Or maybe.... OH MY GOD ! Maybe GOD has answered my prayers ! I used to pray for the longing to meditate on His words in the Bible ! MY GOD, HE IS GOOOOOOOOD !

Monday, January 23, 2012

How I Miss...

I was going through some of my old photos and I came across this one..

This picture was taken back when I was still in All Saints when I was in Form 2 (2009). How I miss the school.. 
And how I miss my clean and clear face ! Look ! Not even a pimple !

And look how I look like now !

oh my..

Friday, January 20, 2012

God is so GOOD !

When I forgave the one that really hurts me, I am ten times happier than usual. 

When I forgot to pray and read the Bible, God gave me the longing to seek Him.

When I was feeling not worthy to God because of my sins, God never leaves me. In fact, He made my day even more happier and ready for me to come back to Him.

That is all I can say for now. You have no idea how awesome God had been to me. 

Sunday, January 08, 2012

I'm Back to School. Now What?

Now that I'm back to school again, I hate it. Don't get me wrong. I do love school.. I actually enjoy the first few chapters that I have learned the past few days. The teachers were nice. The problem? Well, I'm beginning to turn to one of my biggest fears. MY OLD SELF. The one who holds grudge. The one who is too busy to spend time with God. The one who hates. Do I love it? NO. I truly hate the person I'm becoming to be. Even on church today I was struggling to worship Him because I still can't forgive someone in my school. I knew I shouldn't abandoned my quiet time! I can't go through all of these without God, His words(the Bible) and prayers. These three things that I should do everyday, I abandoned. Now, I feel lost. It was easy when I was in two months holidays last year. I had so many free times I spent most of it doing my quiet times. I was also surrounded by people who shares the same faith as I do. Now that I'm in school, I'm surrounded by you-know-what and sometimes, I feel like I'm the only one. I'm lonely. Plus, I have to face with someone who challenges my patience with that 'loose mouth' every single day in school that I'm starting to hold a grudge. Am I proud of it? Of course not! I used to be the person who forgives and loves everyone. I never thought it would be this hard. I know what I have to do now. It all comes back to God. So, what I should do now is to forgive that person and fix my relationships with God. I'm so miserable without Him.

Wednesday, January 04, 2012

Back to School Again !

Hello, readers. Happy New Year! To the ones who are working, switch your holidays mode to business mode! And to the ones who are schooling, switch your holidays mode to school mode, which I certainly understand that it's quite hard. Blehh. Anyway, I can't believe I'm 17 this year! Well, praise God for that. Like I said, it's kind of sad leaving 2011 because there were so much memories there. However, I really need to welcome 2012 in my heart now. Besides, it's a fresh start right? Who doesn't like a fresh start? 2011 is great but I'm going to make 2012 to be even greater! With God by my side, nothing is impossible! 
So, it was my first day of school today. It was great. I met all my friends again and let me tell you this, when we get together, all we want to do is laugh. Ha! Ha! Ha! It has been two months since I met them yet none of them change a bit. Oh wait, some of them do change! But in a good way I guess.. May has stopped cussing, Ququ really strived to achieve her goal and Ernie really want to prove us that she would finished up all her homework. Oh, what about me? Well, um.. I'm going to concentrate more on what the teacher is saying. I  mean, not that I don't hear what the teachers are saying before but this time, I really want to focus like seriously. Yeah, I was trying to do that just now and I sat on the second line from front and I don't even hear what the teacher was saying. I was really frustrated because apparently, my classmates have something more interesting to say. Almost the whole class did not even bothered to listen the teacher. Don't they even care about this? I mean, it's our SPM year! Whatever, if they would continue their chit-chat in class, the competition would be really easy. All I have to do is to read what I have learned at home and it will guarantee me a top 5 in class. They don't care? Well, I care. 
Anyway, I'm thankful and grateful that I'm in Form 5 now and I'm officially 17 in May this year. Some people may not take time to realize this but not all people get to be in my place now. So, let us be grateful for EDUCATION !

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