Sunday, January 08, 2012

I'm Back to School. Now What?

Now that I'm back to school again, I hate it. Don't get me wrong. I do love school.. I actually enjoy the first few chapters that I have learned the past few days. The teachers were nice. The problem? Well, I'm beginning to turn to one of my biggest fears. MY OLD SELF. The one who holds grudge. The one who is too busy to spend time with God. The one who hates. Do I love it? NO. I truly hate the person I'm becoming to be. Even on church today I was struggling to worship Him because I still can't forgive someone in my school. I knew I shouldn't abandoned my quiet time! I can't go through all of these without God, His words(the Bible) and prayers. These three things that I should do everyday, I abandoned. Now, I feel lost. It was easy when I was in two months holidays last year. I had so many free times I spent most of it doing my quiet times. I was also surrounded by people who shares the same faith as I do. Now that I'm in school, I'm surrounded by you-know-what and sometimes, I feel like I'm the only one. I'm lonely. Plus, I have to face with someone who challenges my patience with that 'loose mouth' every single day in school that I'm starting to hold a grudge. Am I proud of it? Of course not! I used to be the person who forgives and loves everyone. I never thought it would be this hard. I know what I have to do now. It all comes back to God. So, what I should do now is to forgive that person and fix my relationships with God. I'm so miserable without Him.

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