Sunday, April 28, 2013

My Interview For Art & Design Faculty in UiTM

Wearing a 'baju kurung' for the interview is a must
I was supposed to post this yesterday but because I was too tired, I didn't get to. Anyway, the night before I was freaking out and I was searching all tips for interviews on YouTube. I was on Google reading all about the Fine Art and a little bit about UiTM. I tried to sleep early but I just can't fall asleep until an hour later. It was just nerve-wrecking you know! 

So the day has finally come and I got up at 6.00 am to get ready and arrived there at 8.00 am. Apparently I have to wait another half an hour because it says that it starts at 8.30 am. I'm absolutely sure it says 8.00 am on the letter. And when the lecturer who would be handling us for the interview gave us a lecture about being punctual because there are some people who came late. Excuse me, lecturing us about being punctual? You kept us waiting for 30 minutes! 

Anyway, we started our drawing test at 9.00 am. They put a few things on a table like a big piece of cloth, a cube and a pyramid shaped boxes,a fire extinguisher, a big black plastic bag and a small basket. Those things were put together and our seats were organized surrounding that thing. We were told that we can sit anywhere to get the perfect perspective. I was called the last from the name list so I sat on the last seat and I had no other choice. So I had to deal with which perspective I got. It was O-kay I guess. As we started to draw, I realized that a few people near me were actually whispering and laughing! They were like, "Oh gosh, how to draw that?", "Just draw however you can at least it looks close enough!", "I am so bad at drawing!" Wow. Am I the only one who was serious about the test? I was freaking out I repeatedly glanced at my watch. Thank God I finished drawing at exactly the last one minute left. Sadly, I didn't get to refine my drawing..

Me, outside the waiting room.
The sign says, "Faculty of art & Design - Waiting Room"
Zulaikha and I :D
After we were done with the drawing test, we waited at the waiting room to be called for the interview one by one. I was the 56th on the name list. My goodness I almost fell asleep. Some of those who were already went through the interview told us that all of them were asked the same question. "Why do you love art?" And surprisingly, not many of them could answer it easily. I was pretty confident. I could tell about my passion and how I started to draw ever since I learned how to hold a pencil-which I was about 3 years old. But I have to wait for my turn. My sister, Asah and my mother were complaining because of the boredom of waiting for hours and my mother said she got back pain. I even met Zulaikha, my friend from All Saints! She went for TESL interview and apparently her interview room was right next to ours! She was shocked that I was still there since I told her that my interview starts at 8.00 am and she arrived for her interview at around 2 pm. She was like, "YOU'RE STILL HERE?" Hahah! It's good to be talking to her again. I really missed talking to her like almost any random things we can think of. Anyway, it was 5 pm and my mother and Asah couldn't wait any longer. They were tired, sleepy and bored. Well. SO DO I. My turn for the interview finally came.
I walked in and the lecturer/interviewer welcomed me with, "Ahh, yes! Susan?" "Yes," I responded. I sat down and said greet him. He didn't responded. =_= 

how I felt

Anyway, the conversation goes like this,
(I'll be telling this with Sabahan Malay language)

Interviewer , Me , my mind

*picks up my drawing from the drawing test* Okay good. *Wrote down something* Sijil-sijil ada... IC? Ada?
Oh ya, ada. *Took out my IC*
Dari.. Tuaran?
Ada datang sama siapa-siapa?
Ada. Mama saya sama kakak saya.
Dorang di luar tu?
Dorang mengantuk-mengantuk sudah kan?
Ya, haha..
Bah, kita kasi cepatlah.
Ok Susan. Kamu ni memang minatlah seni?
Memang kalau di sekolah pasal seni memang selalu nombor satu la?
Ya? Betul?
Ya betul.
*Looks at my SPM result* OK, bagus..
*Showed my drawings* Ini portfolio saya.
Ini portfolio kamu?
Ya.. Emm, ini dia kena print sebab-
*cuts me in mid sentence* Ya saya tau.
I didn't even get to finish my sentence!
Ini kamu yang lukis ni?
Ya, saya yang lukis..
Kenapa buat macam ni? Kenapa tidak simpan dalam fail ni? Ini tandanya kamu tidak menghargai karya kamu..
Ohh.. ok.
Lepas ni balik minta mama kamu beli fail terus, ok?
Berapa lama kamu lukis ni?
Emm.. lebih kuran-
Kamu guna apa ni? Charcoal ka?
Tidak saya guna pense-
Kejap ah. *Started to scrambled my portfolio drawings on the desk. Got up from his chair and pulled out his phone and took my picture with the drawings*
*Awkward smile*
*Sat down* *Wrote, "Portfolio yang bagus." on some sort of a form*
Oh yess, I got this.
Boleh tahan la. Tapi kenapa lukisan ni tidak sama? *points at my drawing test*
Oh, itu sebab aa..
*Stared suspiciously*
Itu sebab saya perlukan masa yang lebih lama..
Ok, lain kali mesti belajar untuk kurangkan masa. Boleh?
Ok. Boleh.
How can anyone draw that and looks exactly the same in one hour!? Seriously!
Ok, Susan! Siapa menteri Sabah?
Ahh... Musa Aman!
Siapa menteri pendidikan?
Muhyiddin Yassin.
Siapa menteri besar Kelantan?
Ahhh.. tidak tau.. (almost in a whispering voice)
Tidak tau!? 
Hmm... Daruk Nik Aziz! Heii..
Apa ibu kota Selangor?
Aaa... Shah Alam!
Ok.. Kamu ni orang apa? Dusun ka? *Looks at my birth certificate*
Kenapa muka kamu bukan macam orang Dusu-
Agama kamu apa? Melayu ka, eh-
Agama saya Kristian.
Kenapa dalam surat beranak kamu tiada agama pun?
*I looked at my birth certificate.*
My goodness, I don't have religion in my birth cert! I have to ask mama after this.
Tidak tau pula oh.
Huh. *Wrote down "Christian" on that form*
Ok, ada apa-apa soalan lagi, Susan?
Wait, they said when an interviewer asked you this, you have to ask something!
HAA!? *shocked*
eh? *Shocked*
What on earth-
Oh ya, nah apa ni. *pulled out a colour-blind test*
Semua artist mesti tau ni.

I guessed everything right until the very last picture. it was hard to see

Eh, pelukis begini hebat tidak dapat nampak ni? Wrong. Try again.
I see a... a.. a baby chicken?
Wrong! It's a swan. That's the answer.
Oh, sorry.
*Wrote down something*
Ok, it saja. Kalau dapat mesti belajar rajin-rajin tau?
That's it? Aren't you gonna ask why I love art? Aren't you gonna ask a little bit about why I'm passionate with this?
Walaupun kita sudah pandai, mesti humble selalu. Jangan kalau nampak orang lain, "Oh kau buat tidak bagus," tidak, tidak boleh. Mesti humble. Ok? Ok, itu saja thank you.
Ok, thank you. *Got up and walked to the door*
Ingat, lepas ni beli fail. Balik ja minta mama beli fail, tau?


So that's it. I mean, that's it? What an odd interview. Others took up almost 10 minutes. Mine took less than 5 minutes. What just happened? I tried to be professional and wanted to use the tips from the youtube videos but I didn't even get to use it. Did I passed the interview? I don't know. I have to wait for another three months.

Wednesday, April 24, 2013

Interview Call From Universiti Teknologi MARA (UiTM)

It has been days since I found out about the interview call from UiTM for Diploma of Arts & Design and I couldn't be more excited. However, I've been freaking out since that day. Questions like, "Am I ready for this?" "Is this the college that I really want?" "Am I okay with leaving Sabah?" The more I think about it, the more anxious I get. I don't know how anxiety attack is but I think I'm having it for days. I've been thinking about it too much that I'm freaking out on my own in my bedroom. My family doesn't know about this because I acted like I'm just fine around them. I'm confused. Isn't this is what I really want? Why am I having sleepless nights because of this?

The situation has taken its toll on me and I'm breaking down in tears right now. It was all because of my brother who gets frustrated at me for not knowing how to change the setting to print my artworks to grayscale mode. I don't know. It makes me even more frustrated when someone is getting frustrated at me. Especially about a tiny matter. And now my anxiety is overlapping with frustration and I can't take it anymore. I'm trying to be calm but the more I'm pretending that everything's okay, the more I can't handle my anxiety. Maybe crying is the only way I can feel better...and some punching on my closet. 

The interview is on this Saturday and I have only two more days to add some artworks on my portfolio. I'm now close to worn out. I'm tired. Exhausted. Mentally and physically. 

Last night, my Dad insisted that I go to The One Academy(TOA). He said I can drop out from UiTM anytime to go to TOA. It's my dream art school and there's no any art school I'd rather be besides TOA. But dad, come on. It's too expensive and we can't afford it. They've been spending moneys on me a lot. Even on things I didn't asked for. Like recently, my parents bought me a watch for RM188 and a silver necklace for RM60! Why would they do that? My parents love me too much I just can't... 

Anyway, I feel like God reminded me a verse from the Bible that says, "Cast all your anxiety on Me, because I care for you," but I didn't remember from which verse. But I'm sure it's from the Bible because I've read it before. My parents aren't the only ones who love me so much but God too. And the fact that He wouldn't let me carry this weight and burden is amazing. I couldn't be more grateful to God. 

Saturday, April 20, 2013

A Lucid Dream

You see, I rarely get lucid dreams. And when I do, I don't feel like I want to wake up. I could actually control when I want to wake. It's weird.

It all started when..wait. I don't know how it started. Have you seen Inception? Yeah, it says that you never really remember the beginning of a dream. You'll always wind up right in the middle of what's going on. Anyway, I'm getting off track here. I was back in PLKN again with the same batch of people.. only this time, it's not in the camp but in a big bungalow house, the people doesn't seem to know each other and the weird thing is, it doesn't really feel like PLKN. It's more like a youth camp. The people are just arriving and getting off their own cars or any other vehicles. I saw people that I know but their faces look different in my dream but I know who they are. I really do! The only people that I know who looks exactly the same is Rayner. He even raised his eyebrows to me like he always did whenever he walked passed anyone. I saw Reetasha getting off her car too but I only saw her backside when she closed the car's door. I couldn't see her face but it's definitely her. I was looking for my close friend, Reynal but she was nowhere to be found. Then, I ran into my cousin, Hannah and she wasn't even chosen in PLKN in real life but I didn't realised it until I woke up. Hannah was with Daisy, my friend from church whom I've known for years. They were the only one I cling to because they were the only ones that knows me. So then, we went into our room for the camp and Marychell, my PLKN friend was in it too. She looks different but I'm 100% sure that's her. After a while, we had an argument in the room. They felt weird of all the situation. Why were all of us there? Where did we all came from? How did we ended up there? Marychell asked, "This is real isn't it?" I knew that I was in a dream all along. Hannah and Daisy were in doubts. "Of course, it's real," one of them said. I blurted out and blubbering the words because I was about to cry, "I'm sorry guys but this is not real! All of these are not real, we're in a dream," I tried to explain to them. Marychell got angry and said, "This is real! I know it is!" She said something else but I don't remember what it was. I know I could wake up anytime. All I have to do is to open my eyes. I was thinking, "Open your eyes, Susan. You need to wake up." And as I did, I opened my eyes and I was staring at the ceiling of my bedroom and I was lying on my bed. I woke up. The dream was so vivid. It is still clear in my mind.

Friday, April 19, 2013

Precautions For The Ladies When You Know You're In Danger

I found this on Facebook and this is truly worth sharing. If you're reading this, make sure to pass this around and reblog this if you want for the sake of others' safety.

1) What should a woman do if she finds herself alone in the company of a strange male as she prepares to enter a lift in a high-rise apartment late at night?

Experts Say: Enter the lift. If you need to reach the 13th floor, press all the buttons up to your destination. No one will dare attack you in a lift that stops on every floor.

2) What to do if a stranger tries to attack you when you are alone in your house, run into the kitchen.

Experts Say: You alone know where the chili powder and turmeric are kept.And where the knives and plates are. All these can be turned into deadly weapons. If nothing else, start throwing plates and utensils all over.
Let them break. Scream. Remember that noise is the greatest enemy of a molester. He does not want to be caught.

3} Taking an Auto or Taxi at Night.

Experts Say: Before getting into an auto at night, note down its registration number. Then use the mobile to call your family or friend and pass on the details to them in the language the driver understands .Even if no one answers your call, pretend you are in a conversation. The driver now knows someone has his details and he will be in serious trouble if anything goes wrong. He is now bound to take you home safe and sound. A potential attacker is now your de facto protector!

4}What if the driver turns into a street he is not supposed to - and you feel you are entering a danger zone?

Experts Say: Use the handle of your purse or your stole (dupatta) to wrap around his neck and pull him back. Within seconds, he will feel choked and helpless. In case you don’t have a purse or stole just pull him back by his collar. The top button of his shirt would then do the same trick.

5} If you are stalked at night.

Expert Say: enter a shop or a house and explain your predicament. If it is night and shops are not open, go inside an ATM box. ATM centers always have security guards. They are also monitored by close circuit television.
Fearing identification, no one will dare attack you.

After all, being mentally alert is the greatest weapon you can ever have.

Please spread it to all those women you care & spread awareness as this is the least we can do for a social & moral cause and for the safety of women.

Thursday, April 18, 2013

Working As A Freelance Artist

Since I have just done with my SPM and my high school, people all around are asking me if I'm working or not while waiting if my college applications were approved or not. Well guys, to be honest I have no interest to have a part-time job in a store or anywhere. For now, I'm just a freelance artist. That's right, I draw for money. Surprisingly, I have received a lot of orders and I'm so thrilled! For example, my aunt wants me to draw her wedding picture in an A3 size paper and guess how much she's willing to pay? RM100 ! Whoa. I'd rather make money doing something that I love rather than working in a grocery store or restaurant or whatever. Well, recently I have done two portrait drawings.. 

It may seem easy for you guys but working as a freelance artist is hard. It's exhausting and whenever you feel tired, your drawing somehow gets ugly. An A4 sized paper of a portrait drawing sometimes took me almost 10 hours if I didn't take any breaks. Sigh. I want to do this but it's so tiring and sometimes I just want to give up :'( However, something in me always tells me that no job is easy. It's weird but that's what actually keeps me going.

Speaking of artwork, you remember my Ryan Higa's portrait that I drew? Well, I found out that it's in! I was shocked that YTF put it in their website as a fan art!! I'm so happy! :D 

I thought they've never received my e-mail! :'D

Wednesday, April 03, 2013

I Was Caught Stealing??

I went to a stationary shop in Giant and I saw this picture outside the store that showed a picture of a thief that was captured by the CCTV. And suddenly, I realised..
...I was wearing the same dress as the thief in the picture. I can't stop laughing. Hahahahah! What are the odds? XD

From Bad First Impression To Close Friends

I want to talk about this girl, her name is Reetasha but I call her Tash. I met her in PLKN. When I first saw Tash on the first day of PLKN, she's a beautiful girl and she looked kinda like a white girl. Like an American! But my first impression on her is that she's a snob. She didn't even smile when I looked at her. And she kinda have this some sort of a snob face. So, I started to hate her. I was probably insecure around her and I envied her beauty that's why I kinda hate her. Wait, hate is a strong word. I dislike her. Sigh. What is wrong with me? So that's my first impression towards her. Then after a while, in one of the classes there all of us were divided into different small groups and apparently, I was in the same group with her. You know how I envied her right? Her beauty.. So I interacted with her and I faked the sweetest smile ever. I mean, it's PLKN. I have to be friendly with her and everyone somehow. And then we talked and I realised that she is not a snob AT ALL. We even have a lot in common! We like Asian singers from Youtube, we like Kina Grannis(the reason we instantly became friends), we only knows English songs, we love to sing and we both know how to play the guitar!! Well, she played the guitar better than me. Hahah! So that's the story of a girl who I thought was a snob became friends with me. She is so friendly and it's so easy to have a conversation going with her. She's a cool girl. I like her. Do you know what she wrote on my book when the last day of Modul 2 class? Look! 
I know the photo is not very clear.. She said, "First time saya nampak kau, pendiam, cantik. Tapi lepas kenal kau, best pula ni. Lawak & supporting! Stay pretty Sansan! =)" which means, "The first time I saw you, you're quiet and pretty. But after I get to know you, it's actually fun. Funny and sporting! Stay pretty, Sansan!" I was like, oh my gosh. She thought I'm pretty when most of the time I feel insecure around her. That's like one of the most generous compliments I've ever had! Thanks, Tash! 

Oh remember when I said we instantly became friends when we started to talk about Kina Grannis? Look at this! 

Kina Grannis actually replied! And I didn't even mentioned her!!! Look at how Tash reacted when she saw the tweet! :P
Isn't that is just awesome? :)

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