Tuesday, June 21, 2016

Why I Suck At Relationships


Wow how fast did you click my post just now? What? You don't believe I could be really bad in relationships? Oh you seriously have no idea. I can't wait to tell you reasons why every guy on the planet should be running away from me. Let's go, peeps.

Reason #1
Independence

Isn't it sweet when couples lean on each other for comfort and affection? Of course it is... for like 5 minutes! I seriously cannot stand this. We are our own individuals, you got that? I don't want you to "need" me. I don't want you to stop functioning because of me. As an independent person, hearing these stuff can be really suffocating for me. I'm the kind of person who goes to the restroom without my group of girl friends. I'm the kind of person who talks to the teacher by myself without asking someone to do it for me. I've been doing these things alone since like forever and if you can't do anything alone for yourself and will be constantly needing me to be with you, I'm sorry you're not my boyfriend anymore. YOU'RE MY FRIGGIN SIAMESE TWIN.

Reason #2
Obligations

Okay, when you're a couple you know you have these somewhat obligations to act as a boyfriend/girlfriend like sending good morning texts or good night texts. I am so bad at keepin up with that you have no idea. I am a really bad texter you have no idea but this isn't the topic. We're talking about how bad I am in relationships. Oh and don't even get me started on the 3 a.m. phone calls. I find it soooooo annoying. Yeah, people love that. You might think it's cute and romantic but guess what, I LOVE SLEEP. When I was in school, sleep was super important to me because I have to wake up at 5 a.m. to get ready since my school bus would get to my house at 6 a.m. You know what happened this one time? This guy called me at 3 a.m. I didn't answer and he kept calling for three times. Turns out he just wanted to say he loved me.
... Dude knows I'm a light sleeper and I couldn't fall back asleep until 4..ish. So what happened? Yeah I got heavy eyebags to school because I just lost an hour of my precious sleep. I couldn't focus on school too because apparently, I WAS TOO TIRED. OH MY GOSH I- urgghhh. I'm sorry but it's so annoying when you wake me up for nothing during my sleeping hours. "I love you" can wait the next day you jerk.

Reason #3
Unromantic

I honestly think that I am the most unromantic girl on the planet. You know, I have no problem saying how much I love cats, how much I love burgers and fries, how much I love my girl friends, my art, singing and so on but guess one thing that it's hard for me to say love to? That's right. My significant other. I'm sorry if I have a crush on you or we're dating because I'd get full-on insulting mode when I really really like you. Maybe you think it's cute that I do all these teasings with the guy I like but no. It really is a problem because sometimes it gets out of control and my words could actually offend someone. I'm sorry. I don't normally drop the L-bomb just like that. It would take me such a long time to say it to you. I really hope that the guy I like would not be offended when I repeatedly say "I hate you" in order to hide how much I like him.

Reason #4
Insecurities

Real talk though but this is what I think cripples me the most. Insecurities. I can never be in a relationship without wondering why does a person is actually interested in me. Which is weird, because I generally think that I'm a fun person with a great personality that looks kinda decent on occasion. But when a guy shows interests in me I really can't understand why. Maybe because I have trust issues with guys... or something else? I can't quite figure it out. But yeah, I will look at the guy constantly wondering if he still likes me or not even though he probably still is. Like, I need somewhat of a constant reassurance and when I don't get that, I tend to push someone away thinking that it's for the best. I will stop being the one who texts first because I think that I'm just bothering him. I will always question his replies, analyzing his responses, pushing for answers and constantly seeking clarification on every corner. This is like a huge problem that I have and I don't know how to stop.

Reason #5
Emotions

I know being in love is fun and sweet and overall just magic everywhere but as a reserved person, I hate that I can't control my composure. I can't eat, I can't sleep, I'm smiling like an idiot everywhere I go, I'm doodling his name in my diary and I think it's stupid. Gosh I hate it. I'm basically a smart person, but I tend to be a complete idiot when I'm around the guy I like and I would do anything for these things to stop happening to me. I don't like these emotions that is out of my control. No matter how much we think that we have full control of our lives, these things happen to the best of us. Emotions are scary 😭


So those are the five things I think that explains why I suck at relationships. Maybe you know me in real life or through my social medias and think, "This girl is cute and funny. I should date her." Nuh-uh. I'm telling you boy. Run for your life because I am not what you thought I was. I'm saving you the trouble of having a nightmare so you can thank me for that. 

4 reader's feedbacks:

  1. I think that reasons #1 and #2 are not "sucking at relationships" just sucking at "immature relationships". It's very mature of you to not wanting to be hanging off the person 24/7, I don't think anyone really wants that. Two people shouldn't be unable to function without each other, they should just be better together in general is all. As for obligations, I think those "obligations" are made up, no one has to do those things. And calling someone who is a light sleeper at 3a.m. isn't "loving someone" it's borderline insane. I don't know what right thinking guy would do that. #3-#5 I think are things that come with time, and being in a mature healthy relationship. Sounds like tough stuff.

    PS: I still think you're a cool person. We all have troubles to work through. I hope you find a healthy mature relationship that suites your needs! :)

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    Replies
    1. Thank you. It's great seeing all your views on these stuff. Makes sense a bit

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    2. My pleasure! I enjoy "reading your thoughts" <-- Hmm when I put it that way it sounds creepy doesn't it? Haha. I think you're a cool person, you just tend to be a little hard on yourself ;) I hope my views are helpful and encouraging for you! I'm just trying to let the Lord speak, but sometimes it feels like "making it up as I go" haha.

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  2. You are not alone. You are only describing maybe a third of the planet. If I had a penny for every time I scared off or offended a potential relationship because of my own emotional insecurities... OK, maybe I wouldn't exactly be rich. Just a few extra pennies to take to the bank. You might look at something called Social Introversion. I can't tell for sure. But I think it describes you to a tee. Maybe it will help you understand it better if you go to the following link. http://www.quietrev.com/. I found it a while back and realized that there is probably another reason why I haven't been able to work well in a relationship. Hope it helps. Don't give up. There probably is someone out there who is patient enough to see past all of this and accept that there is more there than you actually are showing.

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