Tuesday, September 20, 2016

Obsessed On Looking Good

Just gonna do a rant today because it's been bugging me for weeks now and I have the tendency to get everything out of my chest instead of keeping it in- whether you care or not. I mean, whatever.
     So, I've been seeing a lot of my friends obsessing on looking pretty and perfect. Not gonna lie, I do too. But then it got me thinking though, why do we do this? How long are we going to let this affect us?
     I could go on and on about what matters most is what is on the inside and inner beauty is more valuable and all that stuff but forget about it for a minute. Let's be real here, we are visual creatures. Whatever is pleasing to look at captures our attention is it not? It's O-KAY to have an effort on looking good once in a while.
     What bugs me the most though is when people are trying to look like let's say, Kylie Jenner and they are starting to lose their identity. Now I'm not saying that having inspirations on your style is bad. I do too. It's just that it makes a lot of people frustrated to not being able to achieve that "standard look" they have set in their minds.
     We all have different features. Not all of us are blessed enough to do plastic surgeries like the Hollywood stars. This is not me telling you to forget about your looks and just be yourself. You know that phrase? The one where people say, "Be yourself. Your looks doesn't matter,"? Well I completely disagree with that because you know why? Because it's like saying, "You can't do anything about how ugly you are anyway." Trust me, saying that to someone is never going to make them feel any better. What I am saying to you though is work with what you have.
     So what did I mean by working with what you have? Well, wear clothes that flatters your body, do your hair that flatters your face shape and whatever works with your features that are different from the others. I know a lot of you probably think, "Well easy for you to say, you're pretty." Trust me I have some insecurities too. I have terrible acne on my forehead which led me on cutting my bangs. I have sparse eyebrows and I have to draw on them whenever I go out. I have small boobs and a very skinny body so I wear shirts that are slightly bigger than my size to cover it. I have a small butt and it looks better on dresses instead of jeans which is why I wear dresses a lot. I have a round face and a small chin so I let my hair down most of the time because it frames my face perfectly. I could go on and on but I don't want to bore you.
     I am sure you get the picture by now and understand what I meant by working with what you have. I really do not believe that anybody is ugly out there. It's just the way you present yourself. Despite my insecurities though, I've learned to love how I look like now and gives me so much challenge on styling myself every day.
     However, at the end of the day people are gonna wanna be with someone that has amazing personality. You can choose to be this Instagram girl that has over 4000 likes on a selfie or the average looking person that walks in a room with this spark and just lights up the room. The one that people cannot stop talking about your positive vibe and would never get enough of you even after you leave the room. I've seen people like that on Twitter that gave me such a huge positive impact from their vibe without even looking like supermodel. It's somehing I hold dear to my heart.

I'm not telling you what you should and shouldn't do but I hope when you're stressing out about how you look like, you would know where you actually put your self-worth. ♡

Thursday, September 08, 2016

Online Friendship

God is so good to me. He planned everything so perfectly to the last detail until I get to know so many amazing people on Twitter. It was just a click of a recommended video on Youtube and then next thing I know, I'm in a fanbase who doesn't feel like a fanbase but like a family. But most importantly, I met my best friend there. Her name is Melanie. She's like the little sister I've never had but always wanted. Gosh, I don't even know where to begin to describe how amazing she is. Do you know that cliché best friends in chick flicks? Yeah I never believed that. I felt like it wasn't real because I never felt that kind of connection to anyone. However, knowing Mel, I know how that feels now. We're like one. Like...like soulmates. We talk every single day and tell each other everything. The best part is, we couldn't stop talking about how awesome God is in our lives. We prayed together, shared verses together and hold each other accountable. I love her. I love her so much. People don't really see how our friendship really is because all they see is me and her roasting each other on Twitter. 😂 I enjoyed it though. We have similar sense of humor and none of us gets offended by our playful bantering. All I want is to meet her. I need it. My soul is aching for not being able to meet her since she literally lives on the other side of the world. I wanna meet her. Also, Chris too. He's like a really great guy and I'm so upset that I didn't get to talk to him more and get to know him on a deeper level. I know he's busy most of the time that's why I'm not bothering him that much. We talked on Snapchat call once before and we agreed on doing it again. It was supposed to be last week but he's at his friend's house and the wifi was super slow so we didn't get to call. I was super upset about this whole distance thing. I really am upset. And I pray and pray that God would bring me there. It's all I want right now. I'm so done crying in the middle of the night longing for those days. God crafted our friendships beaitifully and I want to believe that this whole distance thing would not be forever.

Emotional Healing

I used to be so cynical. Maybe because I was hurt a lot that I started to see boys all the same. Even the ones who claimed to trust God were capable on doing things that I didn't expect them to do. I kept my guards up. Falling on someone again was not something that I would see myself doing ever again. 
Well that was a while ago. I'm 21 now and as time goes by, I could feel myself healing again. I get attracted to guys again and my heart caught on someone. I'm not saying that I'm ready to jump off the single bandwagon in an instant. I mean, if it happens, it happens. I'm trusting God and His plans for me right now. All I'm saying is, I could feel myself healing again and I can now enjoy the gift of attraction that God has given me again instead of scoffing at guys or other people who are in a relationship. 
Love is beautiful and I forgot the beauty of it when I was bitter and heartbrokened. Not gonna lie, when I first felt it after a very long time, I was terrified. I hated myself for falling again. I was a reserved person. I had full control of myself. When I caught with the feels again, I started to lose grasp of myself and cried because I was horrified of what I was becoming. But I started to understand in time that those feelings were made for human from God Himself. The butterflies, the admiration, the longing... it's okay to feel that way. 
Still, I'm not saying that I am ready to get married this second. NooooO. Not yet. Like I said, I'm just grateful that I started healing again. Everything I'm feeling and everything I'm going through right now, I would bring it in my prayers and let God guide me through these things. Above all, He is still my first love and always will.

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