Thursday, December 29, 2016

Have Courage And Be Kind

You tried.

You tried your hardest to be nice. You became the bigger person. You trained yourself to not let your emotions take over yourself. You actually did it. You're so proud of yourself.

But for how long? You knew it would only lasts for a while.

You couldn't take it anymore. You aren't as strong as you used to be now. People don't see how good you've been to them. They don't realize the kind of sacrifice you've made for them. They hurt you. Walked all over you.

It's not fair.

How could you still be treated like that? You're an incredibly good person! You don't hurt them like they do to you. You don't deserve this.

What's the point anyway, right?

What's the point of being good to those who treated you badly? They don't even care when you're hurting. They never bother to check on you when you're down when you always did that to them.

If only you could make them feel the way they made you feel. You probably could though. You're strong enough to drag anyone. It would be so easy. You know you have always wanted to do that, right?

No, dear.
Don't listen to those voices.

I'm telling you, don't give up. Don't ever stop being nice. That's one of your best qualities. You're seeing people that don't appreciate your it but I promise you, there are people out there that would love that about you. Don't lose it.

Still, don't dismiss the people that hurt you. You live among them for a reason. The world is full of negativity and you're one of the few that are blessed to know what kindness is. If you lose it, what more do you have to offer for the world?
Living in the dark is a golden opportunity to be the light of the world.

Show love.
Show kindness.

But you're tired though, right?

Ask yourself this, why did you want to be kind in the first place? Was it for your own benefit? Is it why it bugs you so much that you don't get treated the same?

It's a struggle. I know. God knew this when He told us to love our enemies. He knew that they may not show kindness back. Heck, that's why they're called "enemies".

If you love those who love you, what reward will you get? Are not even the tax collectors doing that? And if you greet only your own people, what are you doing more than others? Do not even pagans do that? - Matthew 46-47

Don't give up. Don't stop being nice.

Remember this, Susan. Remember this now. Remember this tomorrow. Remember this forever.

Tuesday, December 27, 2016

2016 Was A Bad Year?

This is currently circling around Twitter and I decided to do it because who doesn't want to spread positivity? Everyone is claiming 2016 has been the worst year ever. I didn't want that kind of negativity around me. I wanted to be grateful! I wanted to show that it's not all that bad!

It was kinda fun at first to remember all the good stuff that were happening this year. After quite a while, it got harder to come up with more good stuff that happened this year. I gotta admit, 2016 wasn't really that great for me. What was I thinking? I won't remember this year as an incredible year. I was upset, confused, angry and anxious most of the time. This whole year was a year for me figuring out what I'm gonna do with my life. What my next step is. Still, I have no idea what I'm gonna do.

I saw my friends getting engaged. I saw them getting married. One of them was having her second baby. People my age from my old school were travelling the world.

Yet here I am, still confused.

Depression got the best of me and I discovered that I have anxiety when I was constantly getting ill and the doctor told me that I have an extremely rapid heart beat. The symptoms were all there. I just never paid attention to it.

I got hurt by someone's words that I woke up at 3 am because I literally felt like my heart was slashed with a knife. I still remember the pain.

I fainted and broke my tooth.

I watched families broke apart from their feuds.

I experienced intense loneliness where I was alone with my thoughts and struggles.

Christina Grimmie died.

A lot of things happened.

That's all I'm ever gonna look back when I remember 2016 in the future.

But that's the thing. The most interesting things that happened this year were mostly bad ones. This was overall a year of heartbreaks, pain and sorrow but I am honestly so grateful that those things happened because they made me who I am on this day. I eventually learned so much and grew stronger from them.

I learned that being surrounded by harsh environments and mean people is a golden opportunity to be the light in the dark which is what Christ calls His followers to do.
Through my depression and anxiety, I learned that I am loved and I truly see who actually cares for me and for that I have met great friends that I truly love. Even though they live across the world. I learned that every family isn't perfect but I'm grateful that I have people that actually cares about my well being no matter how messed up they are. Whenever I'm in trouble, they were the one who helped me out. Things may not be perfect in this house but we have a roof above our heads and I shouldn't complain. During my confusion and insecurities about life, someone came to me and told me that God has a plan for me. A plan to prosper and not to harm me. That made my faith grew stronger and I grew closer to God. While mourning on someone's death, I learned that life can end at anytime no matter if we're ready or not but what we can do is to do something meaningful with our lives and be the light in the Lord during our time on earth.

I was doing it wrong. I was trying to be positive but all I did was pretend that the bad things never existed. I guess that's what people tend to do to make themselves feel better. They focus on the good things instead of the bad ones but I personally think that we should acknowledge the pain because if we just brush it off we might never realize what lesson lies behind every bad things that happened to us. As cliché as it sounds, everything does happens for a reason.

I gotta admit 2016 was a rough year but in a way, it was an incredible year. I grew stronger as a person. If I have to do it all over again, I wouldn't change a single thing.

I'm coming, 2017

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