Friday, January 27, 2017

Thoughts On Valentine's Day

It's not even February yet and people are already talking about Valentine's Day. I gotta be honest, as a hopeless romantic way back then, I was so infatuated with Valentine's. I was the sad girl during Valentine's Day wondering why I didn't have a boyfriend like everybody else. However, for real, this year, I forgot that this was a actually a thing. I forgot that Valentine's Day is getting closer until one of my favorite youtubers mentioned it.
Honestly though, I kind of feel bland about it now. Don't get me wrong, I have nothing against people celebrating love or anything. I'm not that kind of people that goes, "Ew relationships," , "Ew boys!" I actually find it sweet sometime. I just feel like it's not for me right now.
I love myself. I'm achieving a lot of goals lately and I want to spend more time to discover my talents and abilities more. I'm building up myself so good and I don't feel like messing it up. I'm almost 22 and committing to someone right now will not be a good idea. Not gonna lie, I do have crushes once in a while. I think I still have the same crush with a guy from last year. But to actually commit? I'm gonna have a long prayer with God for that before deciding anything.
See, I know myself. I know exactly what will happen to me when I start to fall in love. I will start to drift away from my goals and I will not stop thinking about that one and only person. Sure I can control my emotions and try to focus more on my responsibilites but it's gonna be so hard. I would also be extra sensitive when I'm in love. It's like, I'm a completely different person! I'm telling you, I will no longer be reserved once I fall in love. Falling in love is a scary scary thing for me. I have enough obstacles in my life I don't need anymore to distract me. Besides, I don't know if I can be a good girlfriend considering I spend time with, A LOT. A guy left me a while back because I'm always "too busy". Am I too independent? I don't know. I'm happy with myself though.
Either way, Valentine's Day is going to be just like any other day this year I guess.. Also, I feel like I've been rambling for a while now so

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