Saturday, April 08, 2017

Being Woke Isn't Fun

Over the past couple of months, I've been keeping up to date to every current issue that has been going on with the world. I get so passionate with social and political issues that are not only happening in my country but on others as well. I get worked up most days on writing in my journal doing research after research. I also did some writing that I probably won't publish because most of them are controversial and one article would literally get me thrown in jail here under our government for publishing it.
I really like it. I do. I exceptionally enjoyed the process on educating myself. Still, whenever this happens, I have the tendency of talking non-stop about what I have learned and read. However, I can't talk openly about this without offending people. As an opiniated person, that feeling just majorly sucked. I want to share my thoughts. I want to let people know how deceiving and misleading the medias are. I want to let my friends know what terrible things that are currently happening in this dying world. When I see them, I see my past self - oblivious and practically ignorant to even care about things around the world. I desperately want to change that. But see, I know how annoying it can be for someone to go on and on about politics and other related things as such... and like I said, they are mostly offensive and I would get thrown in jail. Ha. Funny about Malaysia when they go on and on about "free speech" but once you say this one teeny tiny thing, there would be a conniption. Ya just gotta be politically correct to survive then. Man, I hate it.
Sigh. It becomes frustrating after a while. Besides not being able to talk about it, I'm having utter despair on the suffering in the world while not being able to do anything about it. I saw videos of women in the Middle East getting beheaded or stoned to death under their government law. I see people in the western world getting beaten up by simply having a different political opinions. I see Christians getting murdered simply because of their faith. Numerous terror attacks. So much more oh my goodness.
I wept and wept in my room knowing that I can't do anything to help them. The fact that they are is still happening to this day is even frustrating. I live a way more comfortable life than these people. How am I supposed to live normally knowing that these things are happening again and again and again? 

Honestly, I'm already drained from my anger, despair and hatred for evil things that I just wanna block all the medias to give myself a break. 
I tried. I tried just scrolling through when I'm on Twitter and see those things again. Then again, there's always this voice in my head telling me how ignorant I am. That I don't care about the suffering and injustice in the world. That I am letting myself back to being uneducated.
So I caved and read them all again simultaneously feeling all the anger, despair and everything.
It's a vicious cycle.
I don't know how to get myself out from this.

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