Thursday, September 21, 2017

Back From Hiatus

Ok I wasn't really on a hiatus it was just for like a week I went off radar on social medias it wasn't really that long so I don't know if that is still considered as a hiatus but I don't have any ideas for a title of this post okay?
So let me explain.
I was in a pretty rough spot(personal problems) and I had to stay away from social medias for awhile and just talked only to my closest friends while focusing on my commission work. I was stressed and also down so doing my work wasn't really much of a joy to me at the time.
During dinner one night, my brother said he wanted to go to see Philip Mantofa's talk at Penampang. I didn't know who Philip Mantofa was but I found out that he's a pastor from Indonesia who was well known with missing the Air Asia flight that he was supposed to be on that eventually ended in a tragic crash. He was also known from his testimonies about his experience seeing heaven and hell that he shares everywhere he goes. He happened to be in my state during the 15th-16th and me family and I planned to go hear his sermon.
Well, I guess this was something that could take my mind off my problems. Yeah I thought.
The day came and we drove to that place early because we knew that with this event, there's gonna be heavy traffic. Well, we were right though. We drove 2 hours earlier than we were supposed to and we were still stuck in traffic for hours and hours. After our butts cramping from sitting too long in the car, we were almost there.

And then my brother got a text on WhatsApp.
"Betulkah ni???" (Is this true???) his voice in shock.
He showed his phone to us to let us see what it said. Our grandmother died.

My dad called his brother immediately to ask about their mother. My brother turned the car around and head back to our late grandmother's house.

She was our last grandparent.

I don't want to talk too much about it by the way I'm just healing from it.

Anyway, after a pretty rough day at the funeral we went back home where then I got sick. Horribly.
It started of as a step throat until it gradually turned into a high fever.
I haven't had a fever like that for sooooo long. I couldn't sleep well for the night and I was having nightmares. I took a bunch of medicines and the whole night I was praying to God. I don't remember what I said but I clearly remember that I asked God not to let me die. Pretty dramatic, I know. I messaged some of my friends to pray for me and they did. I was crying so much.

The next morning, I felt better. Just like that.
I knew it was God. I'm 100% confident of that I just know it in my gut. I know myself well enough that I would have never felt better that fast.
I wasn't fully healed though I still had to lie down and rest but it felt better.

And now I'm here. All healed -physically and emotionally. Smiling and grateful at life given by God.
I went through a lot but my goodness I feel so much better right now.
I wasn't really strong a few days back to be honest but what made me strong was my friends. Friends who prayed for me, tweeted me encouragements and messaged me to let them know if I needed anything.
They genuinely care about me and I love them so much.
Oh my gosh I'm so blessed why am I crying again

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