Sunday, October 19, 2014

Third Semester

The semester is almost over and it has been a roller coaster ride for me. I honestly never thought being in this course would be this tough. Sure, people say being in university is hard but I thought I could handle it. Apparently I was wrong. You know, studying art was what I wanted to do since like forever. When I first came here I was thrilled and my lecturers saw my potential and most important, they saw my passion. I was loved and praised by everyone. People look at me and labelled me as “The Best Student”. The first semester, I got 4.00 gpa and the second semester, I got 3.80 gpa. I loved everything. I loved how people looked at me. But then, I started the third semester. I began to hate the high expectations from people. It was really stressful and I got a real problem on time management. So long-story-short, I didn’t finished my assignments on the assessment day. It was only like 30% left but all my other work was good but it would clearly affect my cgpa. Sigh. Time..  I sleep most of the time because I was tired every day. I am a human being. I should be able to rest or I’d get sick. When my mom found out that I slept really late like at 3 a.m., she told me to take a rest. When my brother, Jonathan, knew that I stayed up all night, he told me to stop being stupid and go to sleep.
          Jonathan, my brother. Let me tell you about him. Whenever I was stressed, I’d chat with him through Whatsapp. He knew what it feels to be in a university. He knew how it feels like to be scolded and cussed by lecturers and getting overwhelmed by assignments. He gave me a lot of advices and how to deal everything maturely. But the one thing he said that I remember most is that university is not about getting all A’s but a lesson for future life and meeting different kinds of people. It’s so that I could consult my family in times of trouble.
          I did take his advices and I did learned so much in this place. My skills are improving a lot too. Just because I did not get to fulfil all of my lecturers’ expectations this semester, it doesn’t mean that I didn’t think about my family when I’m studying and when I’m doing my work. I’ve already pushed myself to the limit. I slept late and stayed up most of the night to do my assignments. One time, I wanted to take a rest after staying up too long but I cried all of a sudden because I was scared… no not scared. I was TERRIFIED for not being able to finish my assignments for the next day but at the same time, I was exhausted. I’m not a robot. But my brother was always there for me. He said that it’s okay and whatever my lecturers said, just listen. I was in terror but he said it’s gonna be okay and I believed him.

          So whatever people are going to say about me, I don’t care because my grades don’t define my intellect. I gained a lot of knowledge this semester and I’m already okay with that. My parents are not disappointed at me. I know they’re proud of me and what I’ve become. If you’re not okay with that, I can’t do anything. I’m still gonna try again next semester though. I pray that I’ll be tougher. Physically and mentally. 

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