Friday, October 28, 2016

Why Don't We Talk About Sex?

This is something I have never openly talked about but I feel like some of the most unspoken things are the most important ones to discuss about. If I feel like I have something that needed to be said, I shall not keep it to myself.

Sexual desires.

      It can be so quick to make someone feel so dirty, nasty and shameful whether it is because you are secretly having strong desires on someone, or because of a certain addiction to pleasure yourself physically from browsing the internet, or even accidentally acted on it with someone. 
All the results from having sexual desires can make someone filled with so much guilt and shame. This could even lead to self-loathing.

Lust is one of the strongest temptations there is. You are not the only one struggling, trust me. Society told us that only men are struggling with this but nobody talks about how women can have the same struggle too. I truly understand why a lot of us would not openly talk about this. I know why it is frowned upon. However, sweeping this topic under the rug and pretending it is not there does not help at all.

One thing I need to say though is that I am deeply saddened how sex is viewed as the work of the devil. It feels like people treating it as the ultimate sin.
We need to stop with saying "Ew," when talking about sex in a mannerly way. Stop with the "freak in the sheets," and "She's an angel that turns into the devil in the bedroom," talks. Do you even realize how offensive it is to God when we assume sexual acts belong to the devil when God was the one who created it?

If we just take a moment to remember how God created sex, it really is a beautiful thing. He intentionally created us with physical longing, intimacy and connection with others. Have you ever wondered why certain parts of our body has different sensitivity than the others? Why did we get such a rush when our knees touched with our crush's? Or how our hearts beat faster when we accidentally touched their hand?

Yes, God specifically did all of that for us. Physical attraction is a gift.

Although, this could be dangerous when we start worshipping the gift. Not the Giver. When we start putting our desires first, we are worshipping our desires on default and leading us to our sinnful ways of living.

Now, I may not be in the perfect place to say these stuff since I have never experienced sex but I personally want to wait 'till marriage. I don't exactly know how it would affect someone having pre-marital sex but when I committed to a guy even without the sexual act can tore me apart when it did not work out, I cannot imagine what would happen to me if I did have sexual relationship back then, where we would be more than just emotionally connected but physically too. I certainly would not be ready to face such heartbreak.

Why was I telling you that? 
I am just saying that if you want to wait 'till marriage, make sure you don't just do it because you have to or because it is a "Christian thing" to do.

A lot of churches avoided talking about sex and all they do is urge teenagers for abstinence and to remain "pure" 'till marriage without telling them why. Doing this would only make the teenagers think that sex is bad and disgusting. Once, I read about  this girl who felt some sort of a victory after remaining pure until her wedding night where she felt awful and disgusted about herself. We don't want that to happen to us.

Those are some of the things I needed to say on this topic. I hope the Holy Spirit lead me right on posting this and helped you in some ways. I encourage you to do more reading on sex and relationship in God. I did some reading, picked up a book or two and it helped me to understand so many things that people usually don't talk about.

Before I end this, I just want it to apologize to anyone that felt like my sharing triggered some awful memories or your sinful insecurities. It was never my intention but remember that you are not alone and God will carry you. <3

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